What would you do if you realize that your life got ruined because of one stupid decision?

i dont hate my parents,but today i am at a stage that everything is ruined,and when i think about it,that why did all this happen,why did i always made the wrong decision of choosing the easier path ,why did i ruined my precious time at college,then i inevitably realize the most painful truth,that it was because them.they never helped me with my education,they never allowed me go outside the home expt for school.every decision of my life was taken by them,i just followed orders.i was cut to the outside world for almost 3 years.it was like my knowledge and my mental growth in comparison to guys of my age completely stopped.i wont put much details.but i just dont know what to do.they didnt let me develop interest in anything .i am 22 ,but i still dont know what is the purpose of this ******* life.my cousins familys are not financially strong,but they had a good family atmosphere,and that is why i think they are doing good,and succeeding,i believe in god, and destiny.but i dont wanna b someone who ends up working in some field i dont like .i chose to join an animation college 3 yrs ago,cos i liked movies a lot,they kind of became my world in those darkest 3 yrs of my life.so i thot that i would like to be in animation industry and so i started,but then when i came to delhi, then a sudden fear of people started scaring me,i lived alone for almost all mylife. so jst to mingle up wid people i indulged into smokin and drinking,it helped me in talking and connecting wid people.aft drinking i wud become someone who cud entertain almost anyone.but in d process of trying to connect to people i forgot the reason i came to delhi.so i ended up destroying my liver ,kidney and my life.i had to drop out of the college.and now i have realized what i wanted to do and how.i want to learn drawing,painting ,illustration and animation.but now my parents wont let me join a college,instead they simply want me to start working,so that they can tell the society that there son is doing well so that they dont have to face shame.they dont shout at me or try hurting me,because they know that what i am now,is because of them.they know this,and so they dont put much pressure on me.that is why i dont hate them because atleast they accepted that it was there fault because of which my life ended up like this.i dont hate them,but when i think about my career,the thought that my parents decision of not stopping to fight and specially not keeping me out of it,makes me angry.i m nt a bad lukin guy,but still no gal in life,ofcorse becos of my unique personality.being alone ,and not having a talent tortures me so much.its been more than 5 mnths that i last touched alcohol or touched a cigret,but i still dont see my life improving. .i dont even know why i am asking fr a solution for such problem,most of u will think m a pathetic unlucky guy,i dont care for that much,may be i jst wanted to let it out.